When I was a child I wanted to be a press kiosk seller. For me happiness was to be inside a kiosk all day long, surrounded by comics. Shut away in this never-ending reading bubble was how I wanted to spend my whole life. I think it was not an absurd job… I suppose. I, myself, mistress of the kiosk, with just one client: yours truly. This, of course, without any interruption that could distract me from my reading, for example, an annoying kid asking for chewing-gum or a bank teller wanting to buy a newspaper.
Through the eyes of a child we turn ordinary into extraordinary. I wonder why, as we grow up, we lose this wonderful ability.
A boy who wanted to be a wild elephant tamer will surely end up as a property registrar. The girl who wished to become a blackjack croupier will never whip out another card from the dealing shoe at Monte Carlo Casino because she would have got a clerical officer position in the Civil Service.
Time robs us of our quixotic dreams and makes us more common than my good old friend Sancho Panza. Few parents welcome the idea of their little ones earning a decent living testing roller-coasters. I don’t know anybody. Most parents want their offspring to become a successful doctor, architect, lawyer or market analyst.
All of them high profile careers, socially well-regarded and handsome earnings. I am desperately seeking someone who does not care if his kid becomes a roller-coaster tester.
The so-called tester has to have a very strong heart to wander around the world going from one amusement park to another, speeding down the slopes in a roller-coaster cart before the park is officially opened to the public. I understand that it is a totally unusual job. It gives me the creeps, as I suffer from vertigo. However, I would rather be a roller-coaster tester than a “mamporrera”. I would not be good at guiding horse’s penis during intercourse with the mare.
Perfect mental health and a lot of patience are required. But I would rather be a mamporrera (if I had connections) than a halitosis inspector. Gross! If I had to test the efficacy of a chewing-gum or a mouthwash, smelling the disgusting odors of all the individuals standing just in front of me! When he was a kid, the halitosis inspector would certainly dream about becoming a notary or a chief deputy clerk but…look at that! his ambition became this. What a fucking life!
By the way, besides having a kiosk I wanted to be a UFO spotter. Yes, horizon scanning all day long, searching for unidentified flying objects.